Before I get into things, I’d like to start by saying that a man’s desire to pursue you romantically, whether it’s your husband, boyfriend, or crush, is not wrong. In fact, if you are in a relationship, he should do this. But the thing is, we all go through seasons. We all have times in our lives when we are able to give and times when we need to be supported. Men are no different, and relying on them to satiate 100% of our romantic appetite isn’t fair. The good news is that even if the man in your life is going through a difficult or stressful time, we women should never do without. So, without further ado, here’s how to prepare your life (and the lives around you) for romance.
Romance, what is it really?
When it comes to romance, I’ve found that you often get what you give. We shouldn’t instruct others in the precise mode and method of the “proper” way to love each other (where’s the fun in that?), and for a couple, romance comes and goes on its own. manners; you can’t demand it. So a big part of the romance is that it’s not there all the time. Also, for our single friends, are they doomed to a life without romance just because of their single status? Surely not! This is because “romantic” is actually not a state that depends on others, but rather depends on our own state of mind. It depends on how we choose to interpret the actions of others, and it depends on how well and how creatively we choose to love them as well as ourselves. Romance is simply a choice, and fortunately, it’s a choice we can make, moment by moment, every day. But how do we do it?
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff
You know what’s not romantic? drama It’s very hard to know and appreciate someone who is constantly off the handle. Not only that, it can be really exhausting for all parties involved. Romance is something that blooms in tranquility, and if your sudden and severe mood swings are constantly stirring the water, that lotus flower will never bloom.
Letting the little bumps and bruises of everyday life steal your inner peace is no way to live. So whenever you feel the tension rising inside you, stop and ask yourself, is this very romantic of me? Do I really want to allow this inconsequential inconvenience to steal my joy? Or do I prefer to focus on all that has gone well and all that I have?
2. Keep a gratitude journal
There is nothing more romantic than gratitude. Just think about it: when have you felt the most romantic in your life? Probably when someone loved you, right? So how much more romantic could we make our own lives by simply appreciating them more? When we begin to notice how pleasurable certain aspects of our day-to-day life are, we begin to find sanctuary in them. Enjoy the smell of our daily cup of coffee, the feel of our baby’s cheek against ours, and the familiar touch of our lover’s hand instead of letting these moments slip away. The everyday things that we normally take for granted should be magnified and valued.
3. Create a routine with lovely rituals
One of the best ways to learn to be romantic (and possibly receive romance in return) is to learn to romance yourself. I find that this skill is best honed through small rituals. You can make them as luxurious and elegant as you like, or simple and sweet. The important thing is to learn the art of female research.
Women are particular creatures, and it is because of this choice that we have the unique ability to create moods and aesthetics. Compared to men, we are also more in tune with our emotions and as a result have an innate understanding of not only how to empathize with the feelings of others, but also how to influence them.
For many men, the subtle art of romance does not come easy. They are not as equipped as we are. This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, when a man’s wife or girlfriend wants to be romantic, it can be annoying. There are two reasons why the romantic ritual is important:
We should not force our men to be something they are not. That said, we can sway them toward romantic propensity if they really want and are willing to observe how we cultivate romance for ourselves within our inner world.
However, sometimes romance is oil and our man is water. The two just won’t mix. They are too different. Then it’s up to us to decide how much that matters. Is it such a big problem that we find it incompatible? Or is this a trait we are willing to live with? And if so, will we settle for serving our own romantic needs? Romantic rituals are almost more important to develop if you find yourself in this situation, as denying your needs in this area would essentially be killing a valuable aspect of your feminine psyche.
Either way, a lovely ritual like bathing with botanicals and salts in the evening or drinking frothed milk and spices in the morning by candlelight can only serve to bring more romance into your life and make your day be much more cheerful.
4. Surround yourself with beauty
Beauty is always romantic, so try to collect it. Whether it’s poetry, art, music, a tastefully decorated home, fresh flowers or clothing, discover what forms of beauty speak most to your soul and gather them near you.
Beauty is a constant reminder that romance does, indeed, exist even when life has been less than civilized. It offers solace and refuge to the feminine heart, and always inspires us to our best qualities. Even when times are good, it invites us to make them even better by offering our own beauty to the world and to those we love.
5. Get enough sleep
Zombie and romance don’t go together. We’re all familiar with the effect a good (or bad) night’s sleep can have on our mood and attitude. So, needless to say, it’s hard to feel romantically inclined when your nerves are frayed and all you can think about is a nap or the next cup of coffee.
Also, romance and optimism thrive together. And I don’t know about you, but when I’m sleep-deprived, I usually don’t feel the most upbeat and pleasant.
6. Make your thoughts good, true and beautiful
How do you talk to yourself? When you screw up, do you speak kindly? Or do you berate yourself for the rest of the day? How do you talk about others in the privacy of your own mind? do you gossip Do you lean towards pessimism? What do you think of the will and motivations of others? Do you try to give the benefit of the doubt where appropriate? Or when others make mistakes, do you immediately attribute it to bad intent and malice?
How we think about the world and the people around us reflects the condition of our heart. If we lean towards negativity and anxiety, are quick to jump to conclusions, slow to forgive and come to understanding, we are most likely not doing it right. And, I’m sorry to say, I’m probably not ready for romance.
For romance to take root in our lives, we must rise above the chaos of everyday life. We cannot achieve this sense of “remoteness” unless we can somehow be in the world, but not of it. This is why we must train our minds to focus on what is good, true and beautiful. It takes a lot of awareness, but once you get used to being the silent observer of your thoughts, I promise you’ll start seeing romance peeking around every corner.
6. Make sure your home is clean and tidy
A clean and tidy space makes the mind calm and organized. Science has proven it that when we clean the house, our body releases endorphins (also known as happy hormones). These little friends not only reduce cortisol and therefore stress, but also help relieve pain. The Princeton Neuroscience Institute noted in his study on visual stimuli that too many elements in view can decrease our ability to process and focus, causing overstimulation and stress. For this reason, it has also been noticed that a clean house promotes a sense of control about your own life.
All of these advantages create an environment ripe for romance. So if you’re looking for more romance in the bedroom, or just your home in general, try cleaning it!
8. Have a fulfilling hobby
When we’re not satisfied internally, it’s easy to look to others to satisfy us, and that’s just not fair to them or to yourself. It’s too much of a task for one person, and it’s a situation that will only set us up for constant disappointment and dissatisfaction. Grief is another difficult, almost impossible environment for romance to thrive. It makes us doubt others as well as ourselves, and it makes us put up walls where there should be bridges. This is where a hobby, job or social circle can come into play. All of these things force us to look beyond ourselves, and a hobby, in particular, fosters creativity. Humans are naturally designed to create, especially women, which is why I recommend hobbies to all my girlfriends looking for romance.
Also, a man is more likely to pursue an accomplished girl, someone who is complete on her own. This is because couples are not meant to “complete” each other, but to complement each other.
9. Be present
It’s hard to notice romance if you don’t really live in the present. Being in the past blinds us to the present moment, and worrying about (or even hoping for) the future distracts us from current events as they are now. Both the past and the perceived future can color our present with hues that aren’t really there. That’s why it’s so important to stay present.
Also, if we’re preoccupied with thoughts that take us away from the present moment, we might miss the romance unfolding before our eyes. Every day, romance happens all around us, but are we taking the time and cultivating the presence of mind to notice it?
10. Be the good in other people’s lives
We’ve all met women who made us feel extra special and cared for in just the few moments we spent with them. I used to meet these women and just think, What a beautiful human being. What a special talent. But now I’ve realized that I can really be that person for someone else. I can make other women feel as special and unique as they made me feel. For me, it takes a lot of practice. As an introvert, instant hospitality isn’t something that comes naturally to me, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re in the same boat. The beauty of humanity and womanhood in general is that we all have different gifts to bring to the table, different ways to make the world a better place. Think about what your special gift might be and set out to “gift” whatever it is to everyone you come into contact with, every day. Use this beautiful talent of yours to make the world more romantic.
The desire to be romantic and pursued by a man is not wrong. It’s a perfectly feminine and healthy desire. All I’m saying is if you’ve tried talking to your man about it and he’s not in a season where he can fulfill that need for you, or if you’re single and all you can think about is how much you want to be pursued, then maybe it’s time to to pursue yourself, to become someone worthy of pursuing yourself and to pursue others with the same love you so desire.
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