Dear ABBY: I would like to respond to “Ready To Bail in New Jersey” (September 1), which complained that the women were always on the phone. Does this man have any idea how much information and communication is shared electronically now? Work emails, school emails, group texts about various children’s activities, and even grocery shopping are all done from one phone.
It’s 2022. Women have a lot going on in their lives, and we use our phones to accomplish most things. We’re not just constantly scrolling through social media. Perhaps the women he was referring to are trying to avoid contact with him because of his ridiculous view of women. — MICHELLE IN ILLINOIS
Dear MICHELLE: I warned in “Ready” that my readers would have a lot to say about his letter and whether he is, in fact, a misogynist. Well, you all passed, in great numbers. Continue reading:
Dear ABBY: If you start a sentence declaring that you’re not a misogynist, you probably are. In this man’s case, make it final. If I had to put up with his company, I’d be on my phone too, calling an Uber to get the crap out of there. — EMILY IN TEXAS
Dear ABBY: I agree with “Ready” but it’s not just women who do it. People of both sexes are constantly on their phones and don’t notice what’s going on around them. I am a mother of three young children and I love organizing playdates with other parents and children. Rarely are other parents interested in chatting for a while or watching our kids play. They prefer taking pictures for social media and scrolling on their phones. I get it: we’re all tired and long for some down time. Still, I think it’s hard to find a good conversationalist. Sometimes I wish this technology didn’t exist. I long for a deeper connection with other humans. — KASSIE IN MARYLAND
Dear ABBY: Speaking man to man, I would tell “Ready” that he doesn’t really understand women. Whether or not he is a misogynist by definition, his view of women is based solely on stereotypes and tropes. Most telling was her statement about “shopping, which is a female addiction.” What a ridiculous perception, no different than saying that all men are only interested in beer and sex.
My advice for finding a partner is to start with the basics. Make sure your appearance is well groomed and that your clothes are pressed and clean and fit well. You have to be able to connect as a person. Can you talk intelligently about your work, interests, passions and goals? Can you ask questions about these topics, listen to the answers, and engage in thoughtful conversation? If you can do that, the person is more likely to put down the phone and pay attention to you, all for the chance to build a relationship with you. — BRENT IN CALIFORNIA
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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