A dating app has taken a big step forward with the inclusion of a new feature to keep up with an emerging relationship style that recently hit the headlines thanks to Abbie Chatfield.
Hinge included an addition of “relationship type” here people can disclose if they are looking for or are in a non-monogamous relationship, looking for monogamy or not sure what they are comfortable with.
The new feature includes details like your age or occupation.
At this stage, users can’t use this feature to filter by relationship type like they can with things like sexuality or age.
While a staggering 86 percent of people say they want monogamous relationships, there is an emerging trend for this style of dating, also known as ENM or polyamory, among the LGBTQIA+ community and Gen Z.
Essentially, relationship style takes many forms, but at its core, it’s the idea that both partners in a relationship experience romantic or sexual attraction to more than one person and act accordingly.
Logan Ury, Hinge’s director of relationship science, told news.com.au there are many misconceptions about non-monogamy, such as that it means cheating or that people who practice have commitment issues.
She added that just because you’re in this style of relationship doesn’t mean you can’t cheat — with every relationship there are rules and boundaries.
Ms Ury added that there also needed to be clear boundaries and research before embarking on non-monogamy.
“Explore why non-monogamy interests you. The foundation of successful and healthy non-monogamous relationships is honesty,” she told news.com.au.
“You need to be able to communicate with your partner early on about what you’re comfortable with, what your boundaries are, how you’ll handle any potential breach of trust, etc. Start by discussing why you’re both in this together.” .
“Maybe you both want to explore emotional or physical intimacy with more people. Maybe you’re interested in exploring relationships with people of different genders.
“If your answers sound more like ‘all our friends are doing it’ or ‘this will solve our problems,’ don’t pass.
“Non-monogamy is not an effective way to hide from relationship problems. In fact, it will often magnify them.”
He said that when starting out, it’s important to educate yourself by reading books like this one
Openness: A guide to creating and maintaining open relationships to gain clear understanding, as well as talk to people you know who are practicing.
Ms. Ury added that it was important to define what non-monogamy is to you.
“Unlike traditional monogamous relationships, non-monogamy has a lot more room for interpretation. If you ask eight couples what their non-monogamous relationships were like, you might get eight different answers because there’s no strict definition,” he said.
“For some couples, they’re fine with the occasional make-out when someone is out of town at a conference, but not much else. Other couples have rules against sleeping with someone in their extended friend group.
“A friend of mine can sleep with other people, but not more than once. These rules must be defined in advance.”
She said conversations about protection, contraception and sharing knowledge about dating your partner should also be shared.
But at the end of the day, making time for your primary and having regular check-ins is the key to facing a new adventure together.
With celebrities like Abbie Chatfield being open and honest about her relationship style with her ex-boyfriend, it made many people have a pop culture benchmark for what non-monogamy looked like.
That, Ms. Ury said, was incredibly important to making others feel comfortable.
“When celebrities in non-monogamous relationships share their stories, it sparks important conversations about the details of those structures,” Logan said.
“It inspires other people to explore new possibilities and find the kind of relationship that’s right for them.”
While other apps like OKCupid and Feeld have had features like this, even including a section where you can link profiles with your partner, Hinge is the first mainstream app to formally recognize different relationship styles.
Ms Ury said an increase in inquiries about non-monogamy led to the app including relationship types.
“At Hinge, we like to think holistically about how to serve the unique experiences and identities of people who are dating. Ultimately, we want to empower our users to find purposeful and meaningful relationships,” he said.
“When you match with someone and find out that one person is looking for monogamy and the other is not, that can be quite discouraging.
“Our new feature will allow everyone to see at a glance across profiles if the other person has the same relationship goals.”
Originally published as a Hinge adds a new relationship feature to the app as the dating trend rises
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