It is not easy to predict whether you will be the survivor of cheating in a relationship. Either way, there are systems you and your partner can adopt to prevent infidelity, says Lucia O’Sullivan, a professor of brain research at the College of New Brunswick who focuses on monogamy.
In a new episode of the “Sex and Brain science” webcast, facilitated by Kinsey Foundation sex specialist Justin Lehmiller, O’Sullivan made sense of the three systems monogamous couples use to maintain trust.
While these procedures can help, O’Sullivan said couples should also report how they characterize cheating. He said his research showed that individuals don’t typically examine what “cheating” means when they enter another relationship. Because everyone has an alternative assessment of what cheating entails, this leads to communication and relationship problems later, O’Sullivan said.
Essentially, people are constantly introducing themselves to other people they find attractive. O’Sullivan said that if someone has any desire to be monogamous, they should try not to follow those urges.
He found that couples who maintain their monogamy tend to use three tactics:
They focus on their partner and how wonderful they are, which means constantly investing in the relationship through date nights and other forms of intimacy, O’Sullivan said.
They focus on negative or unpleasant qualities when exposed to someone they otherwise find attractive outside of their relationship.
They think about the consequences of cheating and all they would lose if they were unfaithful.
In the end, O’Sullivan found that fidelity was more common in those who controlled their attraction to people outside their partner.
O’Sullivan told Lehmiller, “It’s one thing to have a crush from a distance, but it’s another thing to communicate it because to communicate it is to open that door.
So, according to O’Sullivan, couples who act silent on their attraction to someone else may be drawn to cheating. She claimed that walkers often spent time with someone they referred to as an “attractive other,” which diminishes the value of their monogamous relationship.
It also invites cheating, according to O’Sullivan, when a partner in a monogamous relationship verbally or non-verbally expresses their desire to the other person.
He advised those who see this tendency in themselves but want to change it to become more aware of their thoughts and behaviors before the temptation to act in a hostile way in their relationship. With additional practice, students will be able to use cheating prevention techniques and hold back. You’re more likely to cheat if you show your interest verbally or physically.
It is critical to identify the source of the temptation to cheat if you are considering cheating. Is there something that is causing a lot of stress and tension in the relationship? Is your relationship not meeting your needs? Or maybe you’ve had difficulty committing in the past.
According to psychologist Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D. CEDS-S, founder of Hello Goodlife, “In essence, thoughts of cheating are often not really about wanting to be with the person they are fantasizing about, but rather a reflection of the internal difficulties they are experiencing in the moment or in the moment.your current environment, according to psychologist and founder of Hello Goodlife Kelsey M. Latimer, Ph.D., CEDS-S.
Bustle Ashley Batz
When you’re already committed to someone, it’s easy to dismiss a crush as silly or not serious. If you’re attracted to someone from afar, that’s okay. However, if you find yourself spending a lot of time with them or actively following them on social media, it may be wise to leave the relationship before you get too involved. Treat your crushes with respect. Graber advises against spending time one-on-one with a crush when you’re already involved. “On social media, stop following them and stop giving yourself reasons to lie to yourself. If you are tempted, break up with your main partner or stop flirting with other people.
“I realize it seems incredibly difficult, but having this conversation gives you an opportunity to determine if this is the right connection and to explore perhaps whether the relationship should stop. It can also present an excellent opportunity to improve your bond.
You may be going through a difficult time in your relationship or you may feel that your needs are not being addressed. But lying is never the solution. Most likely, it will simply make your difficulties worse. But if you try to understand why you’re tempted and put more effort into your relationship, you’ll be able to resist the urge to cheat.
Learn to love yourself first so you can mirror that to the next person and love them as you love yourself and be true, if something feels wrong it probably is and you need to be able to get out of a relationship where be distrustful to save yourself from the drama. and messy situations you might find yourself in if you decide to stay.
Wounded people hurt more, so it’s important to protect your spirit and energy and not introduce a cycle of trauma into your life. Love is the only power that conquers all, and God blessed us with it, but before you learn to love someone, learn to love yourself first, so you can know when you’re being cheated on, you’re missing the respect
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