Jana Hocking on having her hoe era and why you should embrace sexuality | The Chronicle

You can feel it… lean in… it feels a little cheeky… a little naughty… and a little powerful… It’s sexual tension and it’s everywhere!

Because? Because women are embracing their “hoe age.” It started when women started talking more openly about their sex life.

Whether it’s Abbie Chatfield saying she’s building a list of lovers, or Chantelle Otten having her boyfriend try out a new sex toy in a public restaurant.

Women are throwing old stigmata out the window and embracing your sexual energyand I, for one, am very much here for it.

Hoe is seen as a derogatory word, but what if we changed the narrative and embraced it as a word for our sexual freedom.

If it wasn’t for my own hoe time, I wouldn’t have experienced the joys of dating guys from all walks of lifeexperimenting in and out of the bedroom expanded my social circle and made me realize that not every guy I have a crush on has to turn into something serious.

And don’t think for a second that this is just sleeping with a lot of people, for me it wasn’t. It was about having the freedom to do what I liked without bothering anyone.

Whether it’s going on lots of dates, experimenting with dresses that vary in fabric size, and figuring out what makes me feel sexiest.

But there are certain Judgy McJudgersons in our community who are afraid…very afraid!

Women like me with a public voice have become dinner party fodder.

I know this for a fact, because I’ve been to dinner parties where people dissect my articles. I’ve been stopped in the street and asked if I’m not a little worried about my parents reading my sexual escapadesI’ve had “friends” accidentally send me my articles with an embarrassing comment, instead of the person I meant to.

But for all those who judge, there are also those who express a deep curiosity.

You see, I get texts from ex-boyfriends asking if they can get a cheeky mention, I have women corner me at parties asking if their boyfriends erectile dysfunction is normal, and I’m the first person they invite friends over newly single when they’re ready to go out for a cocktail.

Honestly, I can’t get enough.

For me, my hoe era helped me realize that the single life is actually a lot of fun and that you don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled.

That’s why I’m 30 now and not trying to fill a void that society tells us is there if we’re not hooked and married with kids. It teaches us to be wonderfully independent, and for that I am grateful.

I also have a theory that there would be a lot less divorce if more people had a hoe time in their twenties. Let’s face it, a lot of people settle down early in life and then secretly long for a few wild nights.

I often hear married friends complain that they didn’t get into any mischief in their 20s, and it makes me sad. Some of my favorite stories come from this time.

I know that if I do eventually choose to settle down with a guy, I won’t regret it, and there won’t be any need to cheat or wish for the single life again, because I’ve given it a solid crack.

I also hope the guy I end up with has had his own hoe season too. I hope he’s played the playing field and filled his cup to the brim with adventure, so that when we finally settle down, he’s left with no regrets or unfulfilled desires.

When we look back on life, we’ll have some exciting stories to share as we sit in our rocking chairs.

You see, the more open we are about sex and the dramas that come with it, the less shame there is. It helps to form an incredible bond with people and allows people to be their authentic selves.

So it’s my Christmas wish that more people embrace the hoe age and get out and have fun!

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of bridal items @jana_hoecking

Originally published as a Jana Hocking on embracing her hoe age, and why you should too

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