Shane Marsh, 42, from Abertillery had earlier tried to get into her home by climbing a ladder and shining a torch through an upstairs window.
Once inside the property, her friend barricaded herself in a bedroom while the defendant attacked his wife twice.
The couple had recently split after a holiday in Spain and their relationship had been described as “stormy”.
They had two grown-up daughters who thankfully did not witness his “disgraceful behaviour”, Cardiff Crown Court was told.
Marsh, of Troy Road, Llanhilleth, pleaded guilty to affray and possession of an offensive weapon.
The crimes took place in the Risca area on November 8 last year.
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The accused, represented by Hashim Salmman, expressed “remorse” for his actions.
The court heard that Marsh has “a good work ethic” and that character references had been submitted on his behalf from people across the community.
The judge, Recorder Dyfed Thomas, told her: “You have to learn that this kind of jealousy has no place in a relationship.
“She had the right to choose who she saw and what she did with her life and it’s about time you understood that and woke up.”
Recorder Thomas added: “You grabbed her by the jaw and said, ‘I’m going to kill you.’
“Your wife said she might have pulled the hammer from you at one point and told you it was just a guy she’d met on Tinder thinking it made her less reactive to him being present in her house.
“You then held her against the bedroom door and lifted her off her feet by the grip you had on her body before you let go and then pushed her out of the way.
(The man) described not coming into the room and you’re using words like ‘He’s dead’ and ‘I’m going to kill him.’
“They must be petrified.”
Marsh was jailed for 15 months, but that sentence was suspended for two years.
He was ordered to attend 27 sessions of a “Building Better Relationships” program and told to complete a 15-day rehabilitation activity requirement.
The defendant must pay £1,500 in prosecution costs and a £187 victim surcharge.
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