My Boyfriend Just Hit Me, But He Knows I’m Straight: Ask Lisi – The Toronto Star


Q: I’m a guy in my 20s who just started a graduate program at university. One of my best friends from high school just told me that he likes me more than just a friend. I’m flattered but confused since he never mentioned his sexual orientation before this.

Now I wonder if we were really that good friends or not. Or has he always liked me and was just hanging out to see if I liked him? He knows perfectly well that I don’t like boys.

I don’t know how to proceed from here.

strange friendship

To: Although our society has come a long way in terms of acceptance, many young people still struggle with who they are and don’t feel comfortable labeling themselves.

Your friend may not have fully understood their feelings when they first heard them. Maybe he was confused and wasn’t sure what to tell you. Since, as you say, she knows you don’t like boys, you should be impressed with her bravery.

He has been a close friend for over five years. Be as brave as him and talk to him. Get it all out in the open and then enjoy your strong friendship.

Q: My daughter and her husband have decided to separate. I’m devastated. They have 18 month old twins who are an absolute delight. I live nearby and am retired so I spend a lot of time with them.

Both parents returned to full-time work six months ago, so they appreciate the help. I get along with my son in law who is a wonderful man and a great father.

But I am very worried about these babies who will grow up going back and forth between mom and dad. Selfishly, I worry about having less time with them. How can I support my daughter and help her through these difficult next phases?

Wow grandma

To: These babies are lucky to have a great dad, your daughter and yourself all looking out for their best interests. And that’s the key: their best interests.

You need to step back and let the partner figure things out for themselves.

comments Regarding the woman with dietary problems (October 25):

“When I saw the headline of this problem in your column, I read in hopes of finding some new strategies, as I have been dealing with this for quite some time.

“I am celiac and have irritable bowel syndrome that is easily triggered by foods or herbs and spices that trigger bouts of diarrhea with just one spot of the offending substance.

“I’ve tried the ‘I’ll just bring something safe for myself’ and the ever-popular ‘Let me bring something for the main course or dessert.’

“Invariably, the hostess will say, ‘Oh, no.’ Just let me know what you can’t eat, and I’ll be careful. I had to leave a New Year’s Eve dinner when the hostess brought out her special lasagna. I had not added basil, my allergen. But the ketchup she used contained basil, which was listed as herbs and spices on the label.”

Lisa: It’s definitely not easy to live with any type of food illness. I guess most hostesses do their best to accommodate. No one likes a sick dinner guest.

comments Regarding the rescue dog who doesn’t like his new owner (October 26):

“We recently adopted our fourth rescue and he seemed very scared of our tall adult son. Although he was kind to her, he wouldn’t let him near her. He gave him lots of treats, prepared his meals, talked to him in a soft and played with her, without trying to get close.

“Now she lets him pet her and comes up to him to play chase, but she backs away when he gets close.

“A rescue dog often shows trust and attachment to a person at first. It just takes time, patience and love.”

Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists for The Star and are based in Toronto. Email your relationship questions to: ellie@thestar.ca.

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