The benefits of being friends with someone before you start dating – AskMen


7 Benefits of Being Friends With Someone *Before* You Start Dating Them

Contrary to popular belief, the friend zone isn’t always where romance dies.

From easier communication to greater authenticity, being friends with someone before you start dating can have advantages. (And no, not the benefits you might be thinking of, at least not immediately.)

“Romantic relationships are built on more than sexual chemistry, as love requires mutual respect, trust, honesty and loyalty, which are also the key foundations of a friendship,” according to dating expert Shannon Fish at A lot of fish.

“Being friends before dating offers the opportunity to really get to know someone in a low-pressure way and allow a potential connection to blossom naturally, without expectations.”

RELATED: The ultimate guide to getting out of the friend zone

Not convinced it’s a good idea? Here are seven benefits of starting out as friends.

It creates a low pressure environment

When you’re exploring a hookup with the intention of getting romantically involved, there’s a lot at stake. When you form a friendship, it creates a less pressured environment for a relationship to form.

“Meeting like-minded people, having interesting conversations, and focusing on being friends with someone first removes heightened emotions and expectations,” adds Fish.

Instead of questioning where things are going or scrutinizing your date for red flags, you have time and space to get to know each other on a deeper level.

It allows you to make better decisions

Dr. Krista Jordan, Ph.D.she says that being friends before dating also helps you avoid the chemical cocktail that happens when you first get involved and feel butterflies.

While the surge of feel-good brain chemicals can be euphoric, it can also cloud your judgment and won’t necessarily lead to selecting a long-term partner who is a good match.

“What nature wants is short-term mating,” says Jordan. “If what you want is a long-term partner, not only can you not trust nature, you have to work against it.”

“By starting out as friends, you avoid this change in brain chemistry and can evaluate a potential partner with the same regulated state of mind you would use to evaluate a job or a long-term financial investment,” she adds. “It might not sound sexy, but with divorce rates over 50%, it can save you a lot of heartache in the long run.”

The good thing about the friends-before-benefits strategy is that if you really hit it off and discover that there is romantic potential between you, you can enjoy your physical connection and attraction with a solid foundation.

It allows for authenticity

“When you’re dating, you’re probably trying to put your best foot forward, but sometimes that can take us away from our authentic selves,” says Fish.

When you’re friends, you’re not so “polite” in front of each other. Witnessing each other in all your imperfect glory sets the tone for a deep and meaningful connection and a lasting relationship filled with emotional security.

Plus, as Fish says, “a relationship that starts with such raw authenticity is a surefire way to tell if you’re compatible or not.”

Communication is more effective

You know that communication can make or break relationships. When you’re friends rather than lovers, you learn to talk to each other more effectively, according to Jordan. This can help you navigate emotionally charged discussions down the road if you end up dating.

Fish agrees: “With friends, there’s no classic internal debate about whether you’re texting too much, too little, or panicking at your friends because they haven’t texted you today. Communicate as friends first allows you to establish a pattern of contact that works for both of you and removes the overthinking and overanalyzing behind hitting send and without the fear of rejection and embarrassment.”

RELATED: Can you date someone after being friends first?

There is mutual respect

You wouldn’t ghost or breadcrumb a friend, would you? When you start out as friends, there is a foundation of mutual respect. This allows the relationship to blossom from a very good place, according to Fish.

“Disappearing off the face of the Earth from a friend? Or being 30 minutes late to dinner without an explanation? The answer is likely no, so you can be sure that when you explore a romantic connection, similar standards will be maintained” .

In a dating world that can be brutal, that’s a good thing.

No first date nerves

Another fun benefit of being friends before you start dating is that you skip the first date jitters. This is great news if the thought of meeting a stranger makes you sick with anxiety. Dating your friend doesn’t happen the same way.

“You already share a connection with this person and enjoy spending time with them, so you can go on your first date with ease and be confident that whether there are sparks or not, you’re going to have a great time,” she says. Fish. .

It’s easier to mix your circles

Finally, an underrated benefit of a friendship-first approach is that it’s easier to mix up your circles. People are more likely to introduce a friend to other friends and family, Jordan says.

“Introducing a dating partner to our circle of significant others has a certain status meaning, and many people wait a month or more to date to do so. The problem with that is that you’re already investing in the relationship before to see if your friends and family like that person,” he adds.

RELATED: How to ask a friend out

In this sense, starting out as friends gives you an advantage when it comes to combining your lives down the road. It is true that it will not always work out. Sometimes you’ll realize you just want to stay friends. Or one person will end up developing feelings that are not mutual.

But if you find that you have romantic potential and you’re both on the same page, your friendship base will give you a platform to have a successful long-term relationship.

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