On November 22, 2022 at 06:30
Dating more than one person at a time wasn’t my style in the past, and I also felt it was inappropriate.
I was used to dating a man, and if that relationship didn’t develop and progress initially, or if it ended after a while, I would take a break and start a new search.
So when someone recommended the book Love in 90 days by Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., I decided to read it. I was pretty surprised when I got to the part about dating three to find one.
Her dating advice included a recommendation to seriously date three men at once and really get to know each of them for several months without sex during that time.
So, I decided to try this new method. So far, the benefits outweigh the negatives.
From my personal experience, here are 5 positive aspects of dating more than one guy at the same time:
1. Relaxation of the monkey mind
When you’re dating just one guy, you tend to overanalyze everything.
This mental focus can be on how many hours since the last text message, re-reading a text or email to see if you spelled it right or got it wrong, making incorrect assumptions about what he’s thinking, visualizing the wedding and where to have it. , and pervasive obsessive thinking that can only drive you crazy.
2. Elimination of persecution
When you have three men courting you, you can change your focus and wait for the next date with a different man, while giving some space and time to the last date. Send a thank you text or email when you go on a date, then make plans for another fling with one of the other two men on your list.
When a man feels persecuted, he usually runs away. So you’re giving him room to want a later date with you.
3. It decreases the tendency to make it a competition between two
When there are only two men in your dating plan, you’ll be bouncing back and forth on a list of likes and dislikes that can be unnecessary mental gymnastics. With three men, you can just relax and enjoy each one, getting to know them better.
4. Delays the process of rapid intimacy
When you only date one, you can rush intimacy and sex, which can decrease your chances a long and lasting love. By slowing down the whole process, you have the opportunity to dig deeper and learn about long-term relationship compatibility.
The relationship will be built on a stronger foundation by delaying sleeping together.
5. Allow the man to initiate the next date
When you thank the man for the last date without suggesting the next one, you allow him to increase his interest and show that he really wants to see you again.
This space for him gives you a better idea of whether he really likes you or not. If there is no proposal to see you again after a few days, it is possible that he is not very interested in you and you need to find a replacement.
A downside to the “threesome dating program” could be that you hurt or disappoint the other two men when you finally choose yours. This can be a challenge.
It’s best if all three candidates know you’re in a “three-way program” and why. Be honest and friendly as you explain how the program benefits them, keeping your mind at ease and not chasing them. If they can’t handle your reasons, they might not be yours.
This program is not intended to be a dating lifestyle, but rather a short-term intensive for the woman who is truly motivated to find and enjoy a deep and meaningful long-term relationship.
This strategy requires a lot of time and attention to find three eligible men to date simultaneously. Join multiple online dating sites or singles groups will help you find men, and once you have three good ones, clear your schedule for a few months to give each one time and attention.
The pros outweigh the cons if you’re honest and upfront with the men you’re dating. Keep intimacy out of it until you choose one and know that they have chosen you too.
Have fun and enjoy the process. The end result is the reward for your diligence and concentration. You will feel satisfied that you are with the best for you and that you took your time to get to know him and let him know you. Then embrace the next stage and invest in a fabulous relationship with him.
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